It's called "self-discovery" for a reason...

            In A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, Stephen struggles with friendship.  In his years at Clongowes, he doesn’t fit in very well with his peers.  Even when he becomes the hero of his school for telling on Father Dolan, his peers “broke away in all directions” after they had carried him in celebration.  He then states, “The cheers died away in the soft grey air.  He was alone” (60).  Stephen never mentions a best friend, and although he is not hated among his peers, he just doesn’t seem to fit in with them.  The same thing happened in his teenage years.  The only companionship he had were the prostitutes he visited.  After he confesses his sins, he turns to God.  Even God could not give him the love found in friendship. 

            However, Stephen needed this isolation to discover who he was as an individual. Stephen recognizes that there is a part of him that is on a different level than others around him.  He needed to work out the problems and questions he had with himself before he could create relationships with others. That is why his time at the university is the first time he has true friends.  Davin calls him “Stevie” and confides in him. He talks about the meaning of beauty with Lynch. Simple things such as this demonstrate that he has finally made friendships.  This could only happen after he discovered who he was.  He is not impacted by their opinions, but he can still have intelligent conversations with them and express his ideas.

The novel discusses Stephen’s growth as an individual and as an artist.  All of the separate sections connect in the last part to demonstrate how all of his experiences have created the individual he has become.  When Cranly asks Stephen about his point of view at the very end of Part 5, he says to him:

You have asked me what I would do and what I would not do.  I will tell you what I will do and what I will not do.  I will not serve that in which I no longer believe whether it call itself my home, my fatherland or my church: and I will try to express myself in the same mode of life or art as freely as I can and as wholly as I can, using for my defense the only arms I allow myself to use—silence, exile, and cunning.  (268)

This quotation perfectly explains Stephen’s newfound self understanding. It is the description of a poet, and an artist, in a nutshell. He will “no longer believe” in something because others do.  He wants to believe in it himself, from his own mind, using his own ideas. Just because his parents or his peers want him to love his home country or express his religion, he will not.  Instead, he chooses to express himself by creative expression.  The tone in this quotation is confident, which demonstrates a complete understanding of what he is stating. Stephen would never have said something so outspoken in the earlier parts of the novel. He has discovered his independent voice and is now using it in conversations with his friends (friends being something that are new in his life as well).  Expression is the most important aspect of his life now, and he knows exactly how to go about it. 

            A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man was certainly not easy to get through, but I enjoyed the overall meaning of the work.  It was interesting to see how changes in voice and language can so effectively trace the growth of an individual.  The focus on the growth of a single character made it more interesting to follow and connect to. I don’t think I will be reading James Joyce again anytime soon, nor will I obtain an obsessive crush over him, but I’m glad to have had the experience of reading his work.    

Mirrors and Daffodils

217. “The Lipstick on the Mirror” by Tom Disch (pg 283)

            The poem uses the obvious allusion to “Snow White” by incorporating the magic mirror and the Evil Stepmother, or, as she is referred to in this poem, the “Wicked Queen”.  The allusion conveys the idea that the deed that the mirror and queen are committing together is one of evil and treachery, like in the classic story. However, the point of the allusion is not just to reference the story.  The mirror is also personified.  The mirror reports the reflection, or appearance, of the queen. The other women’s mirrors tell them that they should look exactly like the queen. The compact mirrors whisper to the women, “Crone, you’d seem chiseled of the same Parian/ With a milder soap, a better dentrifice. / Try these. Buy this. Inhale her fragrance” (13-15). This personification demonstrates how women depend on matching the reflection of other women, as well as the importance that women place on image. They listen to the reflection of someone else to feel beautiful. Another literary device used in this poem is the simile. One example is “In powders and vials the Wicked Queen’s/ Essence was suffused like a scentless gas/ Throughout her realm, democratizing/ Vanity” (29-32). Comparing the essence of the Queen to some sort of poisonous gas wonderfully illustrates the effect that the need to appear beautiful has on women: it makes them vain. It is inhaled inconspicuously, without a scent.

I enjoyed this poem because I believe it to be true. The poem is a social commentary against the vanity of women.  It highlights the ridiculousness of women’s obsession with image. Women will gladly reflect the image of a “queen,” just so that they can feel like they too are royal. I particularly enjoyed the ending.  Although all of the women in her “realm” were striving to appear exactly like her, the mirror still reports that the queen is the fairest of them all. This goes to show that wanting to appear as someone other than yourself gets you nowhere. Being an individual is much more important than reflecting the latest fashion.

295. “I wandered lonely as a cloud” by William Wordsworth (pg 343)

            The literary devices in the poem help illustrate how the simple things in life, such as the beauty of nature, can inspire and fill a heart with pleasure. The poem starts with the simile, “I wandered lonely as a cloud/ That floats on high o’er vales and hills” (1-2). Right away, the author is comparing himself to a part of nature. He also describes the abundance of golden daffodils as being “Continuous as the stars that shine” (7).  By comparing everything to nature, it demonstrates the idea that everything is connected to a part of nature. The author also uses personification to give life to aspects of nature. For example, he describes the daffodils as “tossing their heads in a sprightly dance” (12). He also personifies the waves, stating that “The waves beside them danced; but they outdid the sparkling waves in glee” (13-14). Through personification he creates a sort of competition between the dances of the waves and daffodils, coming to the conclusion that the daffodils had more glee. At the end of the poem, he personifies his heart, stating that it dances with the daffodils at the thought of the solitude in nature. The combination of similes and personification creates imagery.  It is very easy to visualize the golden daffodils on the bay, dancing beside the sparkling waves. All of this adds to the central idea that simple things in nature have the power to inspire and bring pleasure to an individual.

            I thought that the poem was full of great description.  The similes and personification created an imagery that was crystal clear, and I was able to see everything that Wordsworth was describing. It made me think about the true beauty behind nature. Something as simple as daffodils in the breeze has enough power to make anyone’s day a bit brighter. Above everything else, this poem made me miss summer and spring…. stupid snow.

What's in a Name?

                Members of our society take for granted the importance of a name.  Your name is unique; it makes you, you.  Names define an individual . However, in The Handmaid’s Tale, the handmaids do not have this privilege.  Each woman’s name is stripped away, and she is instead viewed as an empty, soulless possession.       

The handmaids are called “Of”(the Commander).  This makes them nothing more than a possession of a man. They belong to the Commanders, available for their purposes at their disposal.  In this society, the purpose is reproduction. Offred says, “We are two-legged wombs, that’s all: sacred vessels, ambulatory chalices” (Atwood 136).  In the society, they are empty containers; their sole purpose in life is to be “filled” by the Commander. By describing the handmaid’s as “vessels” and “chalices,” Offred is suggesting that they are inanimate. Not having a personal name only intensifies this inhuman image. Just as one would not name his chalice, the society does not name the handmaids. They are merely “of” a man.

                One part in particular where the names really got to me was when Offred met the “new” Ofglen.  When Offred asks the woman if Ofglen had been transferred, she simply replies, “I am Ofglen” (283). Offred thinks, “And of course she is, the new one, and Ofglen, wherever she is, is no longer Ofglen.  I never did know her real name” (283). The handmaid had been replaced. If each handmaid of each Commander serves the same purpose, why shouldn’t they have the same name? Knowing Ofglen’s actual name would have made her seem more like an alive, real, individual person. Giving the same name demonstrates the woman are anything but individuals. The society wants the handmaids to feel that there is nothing unique or special about them.  They want them to feel exactly the same, because they all exist for the same thing.

                It is apparent that names are of great importance to Offred.  She feels that her real name symbolizes the individual human she used to be in the old society. She says, “I want Luke here so badly.  I want to be held and told my name. I want to be valued, in ways that I am not; I want to be more than valuable. I repeat my former name, remind myself of what I once could do, how others saw me” (97). To her, her name made her not “valuable,” like a possession, but able to be valued, like a person.  Her name gave her a sense of power that is most certainly lacking in this society.

                My favorite line in the novel relates to how the women are viewed.  Because of the after-dark Scrabble sessions, Offred feels a difference in the relationship between her and the Commander.  She says, “To him I’m no longer merely a usable body. To him I’m not just a boat with no cargo, a chalice with no wine in it, an oven—to be crude—minus the bun. To him I’m not merely empty” (163).  I think everyone, no matter what society, longs for this feeling.  Everyone wants to feel like, to at least someone, they are somebody.  The Scrabble games with the Commander are so important to Offred because they are the only things that give her this feeling.  The Commander, (as much as I do not like him) makes her feel like a living individual instead of an empty possession waiting to be filled. The comparison to an oven in particular holds a lot of importance.  It illustrates how the Commander is able to see her as something other than device for reproduction, which is how society wants her to feel.

This novel was a great new perspective of dystopian societies.   Because Offred had once lived in society as we know it, it made it so easy to relate to her. All of the characters had very distinct personalities, and (unlike other utopian/dystopian novels) I could find many similarities between the thoughts of them and myself. In addition, Atwood was able to take problems and opinions from our own world and use extremist techniques to make readers think about their own beliefs.  I loved seeing everything from this skewed perspective, and I would definitely call it one of the best novels I have ever read. 

Equations and Emotions

           We by Yevgeny Zamyatin is a story about the magnificent power of emotion on a human being.  The main character, D-503, is just another member of OneState, a society where everything is planned out and explained. Everything in his life appears to be simple, and he believes he is happy in this “non-freedom.” In the beginning of the novel, D-503, only understands things that can be explained with facts, logic, or mathematical equations.  He even compares the physical appearances of people he meets with geometric shapes and letters.  However, after he meets I-330, he starts to feel something that he cannot explain with logic.  He wants to be with her, and only her, even though they can get a pink ticket for whomever they please. He wants her to be with him, and only him, and feels jealous at the thought of anyone else embracing her. He feels like he hates her at times because she made his life confusing, but yet he longs for her all the same.

Most members of our society would call this feeling love.  However, since he cannot explain it, D-303 is deeply disturbed by it.  He says, “Maybe that nonsense about love and jealousy is not just in stupid old books. And me, of all people! Equations, formulas, figures, and now… I don’t get it.  None of it” (Zamyatin 63). He does not understand what he is feeling because it is an emotion that goes way beyond the certain facts and logic in numbers.

Because figuring out feelings and emotions is far more complex than just adding two plus two, he believes he is ill.  His stream of consciousness quickly changes from simple thoughts to unorganized and complex thoughts filled with emotion. When filled with jealousy at the thought of I-330 being with anyone else, he screams, “I won’t stand for it! I don’t want anyone but me to… I’ll kill anyone who…Because I lo…I…” (57). There are an abundance of ellipses, which illustrate how he does not know to describe his feelings. In these cases, what isn’t said is almost more powerful than what is. (And for the record, no, he is not talking about frosty doughnuts and how much he loathes them.)

Developing emotion was a major part of D-503 developing a soul.  This soul made him an individual that was unique and stood out from the rest of his conformed society.  It made him an “I” instead of part of a “We.”

             My favorite line of We describes one of the moments where D-503 feels emotion and love.  He says, “The heavy, squeaking, opaque door closed and at that instant my heart opened, painfully and wide, still wider—all the way open.  Her lips met mine, I drank, drank, tore myself away, silently, looked into the eyes opened wide on me…and again…” (Zamyatin 73).  In this moment, D-503 not only has sex with I-330, but for the first time in his life, he makes love.  He experiences feelings of passion and desire, of yearning and emotion… and all of this without a pink ticket to give him permission.  He longs for her because it is what he is feeling. He opens his heart and allows himself to be enveloped in feelings he did not completely understand. He performs this act with I-330 not because he was assigned to her, but because he felt emotion. This line is overflowing with emotion, and it is a crucial part of the character’s gradual development of a soul. I-330 shows D-503 what it is supposed to feel like when you make love with someone, and this line perfectly illustrates those feelings.

            I enjoyed reading this novel. For me, the most interesting aspect was the stream of consciousness. It allowed me as the reader to know exactly what the narrator was feeling, which aided in getting into the story line. I almost felt like I could connect with him, even though he lives in a society much different from our own. Although at times I was confused by D-530’s apparent “madness,” overall, it made the novel more interesting.  It also made the emotional change in his character much more prevalent. I tend to enjoy anti-Utopian novels, because they make the reader think “what if…” What if I was just part of a We? Scary thought, scary thought indeed.